Finally, my friends, we are coming to the end of our journey into ever changing world of friendsof the opposite sex. In our finale of this edition of "The Quick and Dirty" we will discuss how to come out on the winning side of the dilemma.
Can you actually win? Is it better to just leave it like it is? Or, is it just BURNING inside you to tell
them or it will drive you CRAZY!!?
Well my friends, you are in luck! YES WE CAN! I'm not President Obama but we can win this friend challenge, even if you mess up a little. So I will give you the "Terry 'Pep' Carter Bailout Plan". I guess this will be as good a time as any to issue my disclaimer. If you have already egregiously messed up with a friend, I may just be able to get you back to level ground. For you that have messed up, you can call this the "Terry 'Pep' Carter Double or Nothing plan".
1. Carefully assess the risk. Okay, you have to take into account all the
pros and cons. Really analyze the situation. See do you really have feelings for them or is it just a phase. Do you have reason to believe they have feelings for you? Can you accept if they tell you the feeling isn't mutual? Can you perform if the feeling is mutual? Can you accept being just a friend? Answer these questions and proceed further, or proceed no further.
2. Plan carefully. If you have made it to this second principle then you
have realized that you have true feelings for the person. Now its time to plan. How will you tell them? When will you tell them? What is their current situation and state of mind? What would give you the best advantage in your endeavor. You must figure out these and other
things? Though it is illegal in trading commodities, use inside information to answer these and other questions. That point will lead us to the third principle.
3. Take advantage of them! OK, I'm just kidding. Settle down! In all sincerity, use your advantages! You know your friend well, you should know what they like and what they don't. You know what turns them on and off. They trust you and confide in you. If you really have true feelings for them, cause them to explore the possibilities of another level of relationship. But how? Well, with the fourth principle of course! Which is.........
4. Show not tell! Not show AND tell! Guys, if you are out with your female friend, be attentive to her, be a gentleman. Don't look around at other woman and comment on their upper and lower anatomy. Pay for her meal, or movie etc... Look into her eyes when she talks to you. Engage in
conversation that is meaningful to her, open doors for her, hold her hand if you have to cross the street (then let go after you reach the other side). Smile at her, compliment her, not flatter her. Flattery usually always has a hidden agenda. A compliment is sincere and genuine. Let
her know that you respect her and that you think highly of her. This will move you to the next level if done correctly and sincerely.
Ladies, if you are out with your male friend who you have feelings for, look nice for him. Have you hair looking nice. Have a Mani/pedi done. TRUST, guys DO pay attention!! Men are visual
creatures. Don't assume that just because you guys are friends and he may have seen you on a bad hair day or with your hands and feet "chipped" up or without a "fill in", that he wants to see that all the time. Don't bombard him with silly senseless conversation about the woman on your job who is trying to destroy you, or who was talking about you, or what hater didn't like your hair, how lonely you are and how guys are no good, or your latest gossip, etc... Instead, talk about things that are stimulating. Show that you are intelligent,have good sense, and are well
rounded. Current events, music, hobbies, movies, philosophical ideas, etc... are good things to discuss in an intelligent fashion. Ask him about his passion, his current endeavors. If you talk about a mans passion, he will open up to you.
5. If you have followed the first 4 principles, then you should be in position for the fifth and final principle. Water the plant, don't drown it! This is the most important principle. If you water a plant excessively,
then you will kill it. If you water it wisely then it will grow and flourish. Don't over saturate the individual. If you do the 5 principle that we just discussed, then the person will be thinking about you and will be considering a relationship with you. Maintain the gain. Don't overdo it. Ladies, don't give in to complex emotions when you see progress. Guys don't over saturate her
and irritate her. Let things germinate and blossom. Keep on doing what you do to interest them and the seeds will grow. You will love the results.