Thursday, August 20, 2009

But you say He's/She's just a friend II !!!




In the last edition of "The Quick and Dirty", we discussed friends of the opposite sex crossing the line and becoming lovers. Great idea, right? NOT!! Well lets say, maybe not. Many of us have experienced the awkwardness and uneasiness of the aftermath of crossing the line with a friend of the opposite sex. You lose, not once, but twice when you do! Why? Because you lose a level of relationship with a friend, and you strike out on a lover!

However, the converse is also true. Some friends have crossed the line and have been jovial and

full of bliss ever since.

How do you know when to make the move and when not to? What do you want to avoid? What are some signs to look for?
First, you must see if it is really true attraction that you feel. Since its quite natural to develop feelings for an opposite sex friend, its very possible to just be going through a phase. The best way to know if it is real is if you have ALWAYS felt this way about your friend. If you've had feelings other than friendship but have settled for the friend role out of fear, then your feelings are probably real. If that person is all you think about constantly, then your feelings are real. If you are just curious about how they are in a romantic relationship as opposed to a friendship, then leave it alone. Trust me, the grass is greener with the friendship. Why? Because once she expects and demands more from you as her MAN and not just a friend, you will soon tire of the new pressure.

Understand that you are curious and you THINK you like them because of the closeness of the friendship. You like the fact that you can talk about other members of the opposite sex and they don't trip. You comment on how good other men/women look and they just chime in and agree. You can talk to them about anything and they don't judge you. They don't ask who you are with, trip on you if you're out late, ask who is clicking in on the other line and act even worse when you
say "let me call you back". You guys never argue or fight because there is no pressure. SURE YOU ENJOY THAT!! Who wouldn't!! However, I hate to burst your bubble, but you are at best

INSANE if you think that a relationship will be like that!!

A person who is just a friend doesn't expect certain things from you. However, that SAME friend of yours will completely flip the script on you when the line is crossed. You are dealing with their heart, emotions, commitment etc... and the game changes drastically when you get in that deep my friend (no pun intended).


Now I know some of you reading this edition of "The Quick and Dirty" and are teaming with a myriad of exceptions to the rule. Though there may be a few exceptions, there is a pretty constant rule. In the finale of this blog. We will discuss how to come out on the winning side of the "friend" dilemma. Stay tuned, there is more to come......

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