Saturday, August 15, 2009

Long Distance Relationships. To Do or Not to Do

This edition of the Quick and Dirty Blog goes out to my friend Katoria Carter. Much love to her for addressing such an interesting topic. That topic is, of course...drum roll... Long distance relationships.

Long distance relationships can be a challenge to say the least. Usually, the first thing that comes to mind is the
whole issue of
trust. Many believe "out of
sight, out of mind" is greatly at work. I
mean, how do you really know if the other person is trustworthy? Are they really being faithful? Especially if they are on, let's say, a university campus, or major metropolitan area etc.... Is it a far stretch of the imagination to believe that their eye can quickly stray and their attention easily arrested? Besides, who's gonna tell? Who would know that they have a significant other 300 miles or more away?

Of course, everything starts off great at first. However when in the thick of things, one can easily forget about their significant other in the all encompassing nature of life itself. Responsibilities, obligations, classes, negotiating a new environment, "learning the ropes" etc... can consume an individual. Not to mention trying to balance a long distance relationship.

They are not all bad though. They can actually be great. A long distance relationship can
help you appreciate your significant other since you don't see them all the time. That way, you don't bicker and fuss and fight over tiny minuscule things. They can cause you to be more creative and resourceful in communicating with one another, thereby strengthening your
relationship. A long distance relationship can also cause you to really appreciate a person and see their value ever so clearly.

So, how can you build trust and show affection in a long distance relationship? I will give you the quick and dirty on how to accomplish this.

1. Plan your work and work your plan. You must have a plan. Long distance relationships are at best an exercise in futility if there is no plan. At some point you must plan to live in the same place or it won't work. You must have a realistic time table and method of how you will work things out. There should also be a plan B. Why? Because things in life seldom ever go according to plan. Make room in your plan for
incidental things in life that could possibly occur.

2. Use technology. Today, there are so many ways to communicate with technology. There is Myspace, Facebook, Twitter, Skype, iChat (for my Mac
people), text messages, cell phones, e mail, web cam platforms etc... technology has made the world so much smaller. As a matter of fact. You are only six people away from knowing everyone in the world! Leaving messages and posting affectionate things on their pages etc... are a good way to let your significant other know that they are in your thoughts.

3. Be creative. Use Windows Movie maker, or Mac's iLife (if you have a Mac) to make a slide show and send it to your significant other, send camera photos to one another (depending on your plan). Have a consistent time that you meet on Skype or iChat everyday, have a joint account for airline tickets, exchange mp3 players (via mail) and have specific playlists for one another, play online games together, whether on something like Sony Playstation, Or Nintendo, or just an online game community etc..., set up a couple's Myspace or Facebook, or Twitter or etc... page. The support of
friends and loved ones will help strengthen the bond between you two. Make videos of yourself with friends and having fun so that your significant other can feel a part and load it on Youtube. Come up with your own creative ideas to show affection and be a part of their life even though you are miles away.

4. Be faithful. At the end of the day, relationships all come down to L-O-V-E. A chain is only as strong as its weakest link. Remain faithful. Be honest with one another. You must discipline yourself to resist temptation. A relationship is a lot like an interest bearing bank account. If you invest in it and stay true to it, you will reap great dividends from it. If you take
from it, you will deplete all of your funds, pay
huge penalties, and end up broke (up). You know you can trust your significant other when they are at a long distance and remain faithful to you. That trust will greatly help you in the

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